I am Natasha and I was born in Russia. I didn’t know much about God probably until the age of twenty-three.
I remember about 3 books that shook my whole world and possibly started making me ready for acceptance of Him.
- The first book was by a Soviet writer that depicted lives of two boys following the footsteps of the monks-hermits that l read at about the age of 8.
- The next book that I read was about a young man whose father was a Catholic priest. At a pivotal moment the young man broke a statue of God and said: “God is only a clay idol that you can break with a hammer.” There was so much tragedy in a man’s crushed hope that it caught my attention.
- The third book that pointed me to God was a novel, a love story by Chekhov where a man, writing to his beloved used a phrase: “Hallowed be thy name.” That was so beautiful that I had to learn it by heart. Only much later did I learn that that phrase was out of the Lord’s Prayer! (Matthew 6:5-15)
In the year of 2000 I went to visit my mom’s aunt in Ukraine who seemed like a believer in Jesus. Besides some sight seeing in Ukraine, I went into several gorgeous local churches (some of them from the 14th and 15th centuries) and experienced a feeling of my soul soaring up to God through the golden domes of these beautiful buildings. This was a totally new experience for me. While in Ukraine, at the age of 25, I was baptized in a small village church.
Through my first unsuccessful marriage I got my only son. Then, in 2007, having been a single mother for 6 years, I met my future husband, an American, online. I prayed my first ever prayer when he decided to come and meet me in Russia. It was a very simple prayer, like: “God, show me if that’s the right man for me.” Everything went well and in 2010 my 8 year old son and I moved to California. Looking back, I definitely can see God’s hand in all of it.
Through my son’s school I met a Russian lady, who introduced us to a Slavic church in Orange County, California. Her and I became best friends.
Imagine my first visit to a church where people were kneeling down and worshiping God! – I wanted to become a Christian because my husband seemed to be one, and I wanted him to like me! During the 12 years of our marriage he was my ‘home preacher’ as well, explaining things about God to me. I read my first Bible in the next couple of years. And what I noticed was that when I felt gloomy or depressed, even reading my Bible randomly gave me peace and comfort.
In 2014 the three of us moved to Oregon, USA, where we bought our first house. But in 2021 everything started falling apart, and that is where God, “in my weakness,” showed me His strength. For years my husband was struggling with depression and was very distant. That is when I prayed my second prayer: “God, I am done fighting for this marriage alone. I give it all to you!“
And that is when God really started making things happen in my life! That Fall, I professed my faith in Jesus to my home church and was baptized again, as a genuine believer.
Then, in 2022 my husband of 12 years, left me, alone, without a job and with a mortgage. I was devastated and scared. But singleness became my main strength. I call this season in my life “wonderfully horrible.” Everything I gotten in life was lost. However I found God, which is immeasurably more than anything in the world. Being alone for those three years gave me so much! I finally learned who God is and what Jesus really did for me. And in the midst of all this turmoil, I learned who I am in Christ. And that I was created for God’s purposes. I discovered that God gave me incredible gifts: of evangelism, connectedness, passion and empathy for people who are spiritually lost – and so much more! I learned how to trust God in every aspect of my life.
I am still being taught new lessons every day. His lessons are everywhere we look. God’s love is unconditional, faithful and endless. Human relationships can bring disappointments, betrayals and pain. But God is the One who “will never leave me, nor forsake me.” (Deuteronomy 31:6; Hebrews 13:5)
