MY CHILDHOOD:
I was born in 1981 in the suburbs of Salem, Oregon to two loving parents. Both my mom and my dad shared a love for each other, for me, for principled ideals, and for learning. Sadly, neither their love, their ideals, nor their intellect were strong enough to keep our little family together. Nine months after I was born, my mother had a temporary mental health crisis, which caused her to leave my dad and me.
In keeping with their sense of love and principled living, they agreed on divorce terms amicably. I spent my childhood visiting my mother on weekends and living with my dad, stepmom, and later younger brothers the rest of the week. My mom had Catholic roots, but while her faith felt sincere it felt fragile. My Dad was ethnically Jewish but religiously agnostic. He was a man of many words, but words about God were rarely shared.
My broken, but gentle home, and my broken but loving parents, left me looking beyond traditional suburban paths to find identity and purpose.
MY MISGUIDED MISSION:
My life as a child was impacted by divorce, but I also was keenly aware that I had it better than most. I sensed a deep longing to help people who were enduring more challenging lives than mine. I began to embrace the idea that to help those who struggle, I needed to experience their struggles. In the early 1990’s the limelight began to shine on the inner city struggles through news, movies, and music. I was not only intrigued but inspired. I believed if I entered the inner-city life of struggle through the pathway of becoming a gangster, I could more effectively lead others out of that life eventually.
On July 2, 1996, I ran away from my Salem Suburban home. I was fifteen years old. By the time I was sixteen, I was living in Northeast Portland and eagerly participating in everything I could to become a gangster. I soon lost sight of empathizing to help. Soon my only desire was to become more and more of a gangster.
What I did not realize was that sin blinds the heart and mind, and what began as a mission to help only ended in a path of pain.
JESUS SAVED ME IN JAIL:
On July 21, 1999, I was sitting on the basketball court of the Justice Center in Multnomah County facing years in prison. A fellow inmate and I were talking, and he mentioned he found peace when he meditated on God. At that moment Jesus Christ, the Living God made himself known to me. He impressed upon my heart that He was the One I had always been looking for, that He loved me, and that it was time to come home. I heard an indelible imprint on my heart that if I believed in Him everything would be all right. I knew it was God, and I knew that he would not let me down.
This belief was not of my own strength or optimism. Circumstantially nothing was all right, I was certainly destined for years in prison, I had burned bridges with my loving but dismayed parents, and I was not sure if I would be able to ever know my unborn daughter.
THE CRUCIBLE OF PRISON:
I served nearly eleven years locked up for my crimes. Jesus Christ saved me on day two. My time in prison was spent learning to trust Jesus, fellowship with Jesus, learn from Jesus, and obey Jesus in every area of my life. He showed me that my parents’ ethics could not save their marriage, nor could it save their souls. He began to teach me that while some have harder struggles than others in earthly terms, that we all have the same impossible struggle in heavenly terms. Our sin which separates us relationally from God. Christ began to show me that I was going to bring meaningful help to many by proclaiming the Gospel to any and everyone. And while I would need to experience struggles to faithfully share his Word, I would not need to pursue that struggle in misguided ways.
Jesus began to teach me what it really meant to be a bridge-builder.
FOLLOWING CHRIST IN FREEDOM:
I have been out of prison for fifteen years now. My life is characterized by three main Scriptural truths: Knowing Christ, Following Christ, and Sharing Christ.
I have had the privilege and endured the sacrifice of knowing, following, and sharing My LORD in singleness. In pursuing a relationship with my daughter Mya. In blue-collar work. In reconciliation with my parents. In answering the call to pastoral ministry, where I have served him in the same local church for fifteen years and on staff for thirteen. And in marriage to the love of my life Wendy, and to the raising of our children; June, Shaun, and Josiah together.
My deepest concern for each person now, is not what earthly struggle are you enduring, but rather do you want to Know, Follow, and Share Jesus Christ who is the sole solution to each of our soul’s deepest struggle.
David Fielding
“Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.” John 17:3